The Five Arab Guys You Should Never Date
Kabobfest have a really funny article on the 13 Arab men you should never date if you live in the US.
What about the Arab men you should never date while in the Arab world, and particularly, Amman?
1. The Nai Guy.
His idea of going out is always to a noisy, sweaty, smelly club. That’s where he functions best after all. You can usually find him on a VIP table in the most popular clubs in town, with a group of equally annoying, equally arrogant plastic-ites.
The club is his element. In any other instance and at any other place, he’s always hung over, unsocial, and just down right dumb. He also thinks of relationships as open, at least from his side.
What he’s usually wearing: jeans and a button-up shirt. Black shoes. Flashy phone. A hot girl. A car with a price tag that can build a house for 10 families. Always with a cigarette in his mouth.
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2. The “We need a 4th” Trix-Master.
What’s worse than dating a man whose ultimate idea of fun is lack of sobriety? Dating a man you’ll never see because his utmost loyalty is to his cards mates. Never, and I mean, never will he let them down when they need the 4th player to complete the circle. For that is treason.
Plus, he is a hard-core nicotine addict as all his games are spent smoking the argeeleh. For hours and hours and hours.
What he’s usually wearing: pointy shoes, a lot of gel on his hair, and a Honda Civic.
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3. School Cool Dude at 26.
Unless he’s studying medicine, getting another degree, or doing grad school, he really has no excuse to still be driving to his university’s campus if he is over 25.
Seriously. By this time, he is friends with everyone, from the guards at the gates to the coffee-boy in the Deanship of Student Affairs. He has cemented his status as a permanent facet to campus life, and he’s kind of proud of it.
What he’s usually wearing: a t-shirt, sunglasses that never ever go off, and a mod car, complete with shiny rims, flame stencils, and his number on the back window.
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4. The “Gabaday” Guy
The worst kind of the lot. He thinks he’s a tough ass when he’s generally just an ass. He looks for a fight no matter where he is, and his favorite activity is hanging out in that shady gym on Dowar AlDahkhleyeh. He is always so impressed with himself because his friends call him first whenever they feel like picking a fight with a random bunch of guys.
He thinks he’s so gangstah.
What he’s wearing: tight-ass jeans, hideous tattoos, and a thick silver necklace.
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5. The Daddy Brat
He comes from a rich family, he probably was at one of the best schools in town (read: Bakaloria, New English, Montessori, etc), and he knows that he has a ticket to richness thanks to daddy although he’s really, really stupid. He works somewhere nice, but doesn’t really do anything there. He drives a nice car that he changes every few months because he keeps totaling it up thanks to his insane driving. His weekends are spent in the family condo in Aqaba.
What he’s wearing: funky brands, expensive brands, and more brands.
So there you have it, the worst of the lot to date, at least in my personal opinion. Other types of guys I had on my list to stay away from but who didn’t make it to my top five:
1. The Ultra Geek who smells, dresses like my grandmother, and can only talk about PHP, Penguins, and Debian.
2. The Jesus/Mohammad kid. Enough said.
3. The Gulfian student who has never sat in the same room with a female who is not his mother, who only eats Kabsa, and who wears slippers in both winter and summer.
4. The artsy-fartsy loser who thinks he’s really, really cool, although he’s really just unemployed.
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hook up with anything and everything that qualify as a female... guy
March 26, 2009 @ 2:40 pm
isn’t dude number one and number five usually the same guy?
Isam
March 26, 2009 @ 3:06 pm
thats ur best post for sometime now … good to see these back … enough boing boinging already …
Nadeen
March 26, 2009 @ 3:16 pm
Okay, let’s see, first of all; how do you define “YOU” when you mentioned “You Should Never Date” ??
I hate telling this, … “The Jesus/Mohammad kid” ; you think yourself funny or wise ?!!! Where were you living before Amman, ha ???!!!
take care, Einstein.
Lina
March 26, 2009 @ 3:20 pm
So true… and funny :)
Bs laish you had to stick Honda Civic in that description? I love my civic :(
Roba
March 26, 2009 @ 3:24 pm
M, you’re right actually. It is essentially the same person…
Isam, 7aram 3aleik! I got out of the Boing Boing rut a few months ago, no?
Lina, hehe, no offense to Honda Civics. I do drive a Lancer after all :)
7aki Fadi
March 26, 2009 @ 4:00 pm
The Gulfian student and the artsy fartsy guy are toooo funny!
Rami
March 26, 2009 @ 4:12 pm
What about the Workaholic? what do you think?
Talal
March 26, 2009 @ 6:12 pm
You forgot to mention that Number 1’s shirt is unbuttoned down to his bellybutton, proudly showing off his sexy, macho, jungle of a hairy chest.
Hareega
March 26, 2009 @ 6:21 pm
Rami, the workoholic is exactly the guy most Ammani women want to marry. He works a lot so he’s not home most of the time, but still brings a lot of money. Real heaven for women.
Jafar
March 26, 2009 @ 6:50 pm
GOOD GOD!!! THIS IS SO TRUE AND SO HILARIOUS.
Roba, you have basically blacklisted 99% of West Ammani guys. This is great news for everyone else. I must admit I fit into a couple of those. the geeky and the artsy fartsy looser. I guess I am doomed :)
sk8erboi
March 26, 2009 @ 7:01 pm
hehehe….
Damn, I’m so glad I’m not one of them ;)
What about the Five you should look for? :P
Hala
March 26, 2009 @ 7:10 pm
LOL @ Hareega, I guess we are running out of types.
Hmm...
March 26, 2009 @ 7:33 pm
What about the car lover type that only talks about cars, mind you his car is from the 90s… actually i can think of a few 100 other types, so next more realistically short list should be “Datable Arab guys”; I hope it makes 5…
Noura
March 26, 2009 @ 8:59 pm
This is awesome!! So true! It took me a while to figure out what a “Gababaday” guy, as you have an extra “ba” in there… (Gabaday).
Shmal
March 26, 2009 @ 10:51 pm
I think the gulfian dude would have kicked ass! A picture of him in his white dress, complete with the white pointy shoes, his “masba7a”, his leather Armani jacket and his 50K Range Rover :).
Dee
March 27, 2009 @ 12:08 am
girl you added an extra ba to gabaday…
other than that I love the post, been some time since u did something like this, the list is so true, the school cool dude at 26 is funny, w katraneen hal ayam lol.
Mesh
March 27, 2009 @ 2:40 am
ana a3tared besheddeh wo a7taj 3la edafet the GEEKS to the list ..
here is a 50 reasons why a girl should date a GEEK !
http://www.10bestfreedatingservices.com/blog/2008/09/50-reasons-to-date-a-geek/
think about it twice girls :P
Maher
March 27, 2009 @ 4:14 am
well..from a guy’s Perspective, you got them all right!
too bad i quit blogging, i would def recount with my own “The Five Arab Girls You Should Never Date”
ha!
March 27, 2009 @ 8:56 am
Your brother is a type 5 then haha
Ehab
March 27, 2009 @ 11:11 am
Maher.. Don’t feel bad!. I’ve done it for you. Roba has just blacklisted 99% of Amman guys..
You can check http://palordinia.blogspot.com to see my list of 8 jordanian girls you should never date.. And I’ve just blacklisted 99.5% of amman girls :)
But I have to admit I found the Trix-master funny :) … I actually like the guy :)
Rum
March 27, 2009 @ 11:18 am
And for those of you who will be living in the USA, watch out for the
“13 Arab Men You Should Never Date”
http://www.kabobfest.com/2009/03/13-arab-men-you-should-never-date.html
ala
March 27, 2009 @ 12:42 pm
hahahah!
you reminded me with the ultra geek who used to dress his father staff to show up like a man!!!!!
f***k him anyway!
Ulysses
March 27, 2009 @ 2:32 pm
Great Post indeed. I liked the Ultra Geek one.
yousef
March 27, 2009 @ 4:16 pm
what about the extra waxy guy and the man who stand 2 hrs in front of the miror
Roba
March 27, 2009 @ 4:56 pm
Rami, the workaholic kinda sucks, but at least mofeed shawi, you know?
Talal, lol, great point.
Hareega, sexist :P
Jafar, hehe, oh well! Now you’re really making me consider the other list with the good thigns.
Sk8erboi, I’m thinking about it! Maybe that will eb a coming soon post.
Hmm, the car guys are also really annoying. But they could be dateable.. depending on how obsessive they aer.
Noura, thanks, I fixed it!
Shmal, hehe, yeah, and his leather pants :P
Dee, tell me about it! It’s amazing how much longer people are spending time at school.
Mesh, I didn’t mean geeks, I like geeks. I just don’t like a certain kind of geek…
Maher,feel free to add your list here, I’ll post it for you on a post.
Ehab, good job! I’m the feminist.
Rum, yeah, i had that link in the intro. It inspired this post actually :)
Ala, luckily, I’ve never met anyone ilke that!
Ulysses, thanks!
Yousef, don’t you think that’s guy one?
yousef
March 27, 2009 @ 6:11 pm
100% ,, thanx for the post first time loved wut u wrote
Bardees
March 27, 2009 @ 6:55 pm
loved your post Roba, so smart and funny!!
shared on facebook :)
Dating not allowed in first place
March 27, 2009 @ 7:46 pm
Wawoooo
i never knew that Jordanian girls dates
this opens a big subiect
Ehab
March 28, 2009 @ 12:46 pm
When it comes to dating in jordan, there is a sacred code even among enemies! Say you are a girl and there is this girl whom you really hate! she lives next door, and you know her family!.. she has a boyfriend. It’s very easy for you to screw her by finding a way to tell her family, but you won’t! Because that is the code. You don’t rat on people because they date to their families even if you hate them.
I think people want their asses covered :) .. don’t tell, in hope that others will reciprocate :)
Ibrahim
March 29, 2009 @ 2:52 am
If I’m still a blogger I think I will reply to your post with Top 100 girls you should never date in Amman … and I will lose my mac forever after that …
Bill
March 31, 2009 @ 9:47 am
I am sure the guys here will agree, but most men feel that there are plenty of women we don’t want to date.
The male population of this planet is being RUN OVER by under-educated, over-manicured gold digging bimbos whose greatest ability is to be able to differentiate between different brands of expensive bags and/or shoes. It is disgusting to be close to someone THAT ignorant AND shallow. How stupid can you be if your bag has a logo that says “LV” and you carry that around to show off to other stupid girls that you can afford a $400 bag. It is a crime to spend more than $10 for a bag and $50 for a pair of shoes.
4 women we don’t want to date:
1. The no-goals gold digger: No college degree, works at a hair salon, but always looks like a million dollars and has decided that she wants to marry a millionaire because she somehow thinks “she is worth it”. She has maxed out her credit cards because she owns the best shoe and bag collection after the Queen of Jordan. In her spare time, she reads fashion magazines and is actually proud of her fashion IQ – even though it has no monetary value. She has a scrapbook of all the things she wants to do/buy in her life – and all of them are expensive – but she has no means of paying for any of them.
2. Make me a mommy now: I want a $50,000 wedding in the fall and I want a baby the following spring. Oh, and you get to pay for both. You figure out how to support me and the baby. If you dislike kids, you are an evil man who should be banished to Siberia. However, if you like kids, she will marry you even if you snort cocaine – because “Oh you are soo amazing with kids”. She will go crazy if you ever disapprove of a baby related purchase but NEVER talk about saving up for the child’s college.
3. Been around the block girl: She has slept with half the male population, but has spared pre-pubescent men and senior citizens with serious physical disorders. She somehow feels “this” relationship is going to be special. She has no opinion about anybody or anything. She thinks George Bush was “ok”. She will tell you whatever you want to hear. She never really misses you except on Friday nights when she wants to catch a movie or grab dinner: courtesy – your VISA card. She does not call or email except when she needs something from you.
4. I hate my ex, but I still love him girl: She thought he was the love of his life, until he cheated on her with her own best friend. She will “sleep date” you, and repeatedly tell you how bad her ex was every time you are having a good time with her. She is in touch with her ex’s sister/cousin/aunt to keep tabs on him. She secretly checks out his facebook profile at work. She has sent him anonymous email. Somedays she wants to destroy him, but other days, she just wishes things were different between them. NOT ONCE does she talk about YOUR relationship with her.
======================================
4 things that we dont want to be judged by:
1. Commitment: Our biology has programmed us to not want a monogamous relationships. And we DONT want you to assume that are in a monogamous relationship just because we had sex you. YOU WANT COMMITMENT, not us. PLEASE let us know that you are looking for a SERIOUS, LONG TERM relationship ONLY before you get in bed with us.
2. “I love you”: We will say it when we feel it. Period. We dont want any pressure to say the 3 magic words
3. Phone/Email/IM: We dont want to be constantly in touch with you. Our existence is NOT defined by being your Boy Friend/Spouse.
4. Dont ask us specific questions about our exs. We probably dont remember it anyway, and if we did, you will start crying.
5. If we make a lot more money than you, then we get a bigger say on how our combined pool of money will be spent. We want you to be our peer in every way in our relationship.
6. Dont compare us to your old man – we dont like it.
Secret Window
March 31, 2009 @ 9:53 am
hehehe so true…Im not in Jordan and I do not know much about Jordanian guys, but this applies pretty much to many guys I’ve met of different nationalities!
A Gulfian Student
April 1, 2009 @ 7:47 pm
I don’t mean to be the party pooper here but I did not like referring to this particular category as “Gulfian”, that is just generalizing. This kind does not really have to be a Khalleeji (which is what you wanted to say really), they do exist in any Arab nationality.
Roba
April 2, 2009 @ 11:32 am
Bill, fantastic list!
A Gulfian Student, lol, I just “shaleit amal” 99% of the Jordanian male population. 5% of the Gulf population should be able to brave my fit, no?
This whole post is about generalization :)
A Gulfian Student
April 2, 2009 @ 7:29 pm
lol. makes sense :)
ok I guess I shouldn’t be too touchy about this. Great post, really :)
Abed
April 8, 2009 @ 8:00 pm
Hi Ruba kefek?
Very funny and almost 80% true.
but i have one comment, so why (The Jesus/Mohammad kid) is listed in men’s list but not women’s? there should be some smart-ass reason for that i know you are smart :D, so yalla enlighten us
Ashraf
May 30, 2009 @ 4:01 pm
This article has been cloned from another article and like every other Jordanian writer or artist, a thief in other words!!
Check out the real article; which by the way was as well STUPID!
http://www.kabobfest.com/2009/03/13-arab-men-you-should-never-date.html
Enough said
Roba
May 30, 2009 @ 4:11 pm
Ashraf, I’m so happy to see how stupid you are as well (that makes three stupid things today), as the reference to the KabobFest article (which was pretty cool actually) is on the first damn line. Read before comment next time.
Rami Awamleh
May 30, 2009 @ 4:51 pm
I didn’t get whats the point of writing things we already know!
You have that much of “Nothing to do” time?? Or maybe you want to be funny??
Whats your next article about? mmm
(Seven things you should not add to Mansaf)
1)Plastic Dolls 2)Cellphones 3)Stapler 4)Laptops 5)Clothes hanger 6)Microwave ovens and number seven in the count: A3 paper!
Here you go another article of you.
Isam
May 30, 2009 @ 6:07 pm
w7de allah em el roob ;)
The Answer
May 30, 2009 @ 6:23 pm
ABED the answer for your question about why the Jesus/Mohammad type should not be dated because she wouldn’t recommend un-naughty relationships!
Come on ABED who wants to date a religious guy, they are yukky and unexciting!
Ali
June 8, 2009 @ 6:27 pm
That’s about 99 percent of Amman’s under-30s maledome.
safae
June 11, 2009 @ 8:48 am
ok so now u mentioned all the guys that you should not date !
now …the question is … what’s left?? who should u date then ?
a poor good kid whos time is dedicated to you and his mom only ?
or to a homeless dude ?
geee this post is useless .. didn’t help me one bit !
and the jesus/mohammed thing was so STUPID ! i know but u mean, but u r WRONG ! those are the guys that u should date, coz they know the purpose of life ;)
Now chill ..
Cyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
yanal
September 29, 2009 @ 10:15 am
please tell us about yourself !!! so that we learn..you’ll be doing a good thing