Death in the family
Sometimes, you really have nothing to add. When will someone actually do something about this?
Afather and his two underage sons tortured and killed their 19-year-old daughter and sister because she reportedly was caught wearing makeup while out on an errand with her younger brother. Her uncle, who caught her apparently walking in an area other than the one she said she was going to, brought her back to her father and reported her “crime”.
I want to repeat this news. A young girl, a teenager, was relentlessly beaten with water hoses mercilessly and continuously by three men until she died. Initial reports indicate that the police arrested the three after she was declared dead by the doctor. The father, who led the two-hour beatings, shared his hose with his underage sons and encouraged them to join in the beating. Now this has been designated as an “honour crime”.
Welcome to Jordan in the 21st century. This case underlines the paradox of messages from this apparently modern country that has taken a leading position in the region with its progress despite its limited resources, yet still allows its human resources and future to remain hostage to archaic practices that have no relevance to the majority of society.
Parliament has rejected amendments to a law that would have banned the use of a ‘fit of fury’ clause to stop the practice of letting the perpetrators of crimes against women go free. Instead they have continued to support heartless and unnecessary murder, which is masked as a claim to have cleansed the honour of their families. This is the same Parliament that has failed women repeatedly thereby institutionalising open discrimination and the subordination of women to their male “guardians” as well as condoning violence against women.
The fact that Parliament does not fairly represent the makeup of society not only serves to maintain the integrity, and therefore supremacy, of only a certain category of people in the country politically – which is obviously the aim of the legislator – but it also allows this mentality to continue derailing all efforts to improve the legal status of women in the Kingdom. This Parliament, which was elected to serve all the people, has silenced half of the population because of their gender.
Women activists, including some of the most influential women in the country, have spoken out and advocated against what can only be described as stark legislative discrimination against women in Jordan, to no avail. The reason behind their failure is not that “society” is intrinsically against these changes, but because the cause of women has not been taken up by our male leaders who have left gender issues to women and forgot that it is the responsibility of societies as a whole to ensure that all members of that society are treated fairly and with justice.
When was the last time the prime minister made statements about improving the situation of women in Jordan? When was the last time the government intervened with Parliament and used its considerable clout to ensure the passing of laws that would change the lives of women for the better? Clearly there is no political will to improve the status of women in Jordan or even extend them the minimum protection against violence and inexplicable discrimination. As long as that political will is absent there will be no change.
An adult woman has the right to make choices in her life including personal ones. We all know this. We all know that men and women are equal in their humanity, their intelligence and their needs. We all know that it is not acceptable for any man to use force on a woman. We all know that the majority of Jordanians would not stand by idly and quietly and watch a woman being beaten to death without stepping in to stop it or even prevent it in the first place.
If we the people can’t stand to watch murder being perpetrated, how long are we going to accept that the government does exactly this? The government is watching the murder it has condoned.
Every single member of the Cabinet and every single senior official and every single journalist, judge, lawyer, activist and citizen who isn’t doing something to stop this “horror show” of crime against women, is doing exactly that: watching the long episode of torture and murder without batting an eyelid or lifting a finger. We watched this show 18 times last year. We have watched it seven times already this year. In every show a human being is robbed of their chance at life by an apathetic society.
I think we should all be ashamed of ourselves!
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Natalia
March 24, 2009 @ 1:16 pm
God DAMN it…
:*(
kinzi
March 24, 2009 @ 2:28 pm
Thanks for ‘doing something’, Roba. More to do soon!
Nadine
March 24, 2009 @ 2:42 pm
Actually there’s a lot to add Roba. The way we address this issue for starters, and the manner in which we refer to the women victims must be altered!
It is paramount to give this woman a name, a face, and her personal story must be shared. As long as we keep her a statistic, attitudes will not shift. It is hard to rally support for statistics. People connect with people stories. So to Nermeen and others writing about these crimes, I implore you to make it about the person – her life. Rather than reporting on the crime, let’s feature their personal lives.
Another thing that must happen immediately are the follow up stories. After reporting on the crime when it happens, we must bring out to the public personal stories to share what has been lost/taken unjustly.
So…
What’s her name?
What was she studying/working?
What do her friends say about her dreams/plans/aspirations?
What made her laugh/cry?
How many siblings did she leave behind sisterless?
Those who have children… how many kids did they leave behind? What is the status motherless?
What did she look like?
If we get personal, these crimes remain cold statistics! People are usually not moved by numbers, they often are by stories.
Once we get the stories right and out, the work with legal, parliament, society begins.
Nadine
March 24, 2009 @ 2:44 pm
correction: If we DON’T get personal, these crimes remain cold statistics! People are usually not moved by numbers, they often are by stories.
Nick Fraser
March 24, 2009 @ 3:11 pm
This is horrible.
Do you think there is any scope for women to engage in co-ordinated public action/demonstrations in Amman over this?
Deena
March 24, 2009 @ 4:36 pm
(my spam word was 7ob :) made me smile! )
to answer your question, a few of us have been trying to do something about so-called honour crimes. the initiative is still in it’s early phases, but we are brainstorming the different ways and approaches to tackle the issue. I added the link to the googledoc we have been working on as my url (although we are changing the name of the initiative from la sharaf fil qatil to la sharaf fil jareemah). as it is meant to be a public initiative, anyone with ideas and suggestions is welcome to join in on our brainstorming session (although i think you will have to email one of us first to gain access).
we can’t just wait around for someone with a magic wand to wisk it all away. we will have to do something about this ourselves, out of our personal time and effort. because ‘wearing makeup’ should not be an excuse for murder. not in jordan, and certainly not in the 21st century.
loolt
March 24, 2009 @ 4:40 pm
makeup? I would love to know what the true motives behind such crimes, I mean why would this be considered something to be furious over, never mind murderous.
Allah Yir7amha
Natalia
March 24, 2009 @ 6:23 pm
loolt, we were discussing this at lunch today, and it’s possible that – the uncle might have pressured her for a sexual relationship, or pressured her to marry his son, or something like that, and, when it didn’t work, he slandered her to her father. Make-up is probably a red herring.
The Observer
March 24, 2009 @ 6:50 pm
I agree with Nadia, but I dont know how much possible is that!
kinzi
March 24, 2009 @ 10:31 pm
Deena, that doc is an amazing start. I hope to add to it.
Hisham
March 25, 2009 @ 2:01 am
Id rather be Jap
Shmal
March 25, 2009 @ 2:42 am
The reason Jordan is so fucking far behind is that we allow what people call “honor” to be above development and moving forward. There’s no “honor” in killing your own blood…shame on the law.
Rami
March 25, 2009 @ 10:03 am
How many of these incidents are in our society, give me numbers, even western countries have lots more than and more sick incidents than us… sick people are all over the world but how many are their here???
Roba
March 25, 2009 @ 1:08 pm
Nadine, I really love the way you’re looking at this, and I am definitely going to start looking at it that way too, and encourage others to do as well.
Deena, that is an absolutely fantastic initiative. I love it! You have my contact info, and I’d love to help, especially if you need any design or something for stuff.
Natalia
March 25, 2009 @ 6:46 pm
Deena & Co.,
When you guys start doing publicity for the initiative – please e-mail me:
natalia [at] arabcomment [dot] com
I’d like to help. :)
Deena
March 26, 2009 @ 2:42 am
Kinzi, Roba and Natalia, thank you very much :) will def take you up on your offers!
Abu Musa
March 26, 2009 @ 4:28 pm
Men are the maintainers of women because Allah has made some of them to excel others and because they spend out of their property; the good women are therefore obedient, guarding the unseen as Allah has guarded; and (as to) those on whose part you fear desertion, admonish them, and leave them alone in the sleeping-places and beat them; then if they obey you, do not seek a way against them; surely Allah is High, Great.
Sura 4: Ayah 34
الرِّجَالُ قَوَّامُونَ عَلَى النِّسَاء بِمَا فَضَّلَ اللّهُ بَعْضَهُمْ عَلَى بَعْضٍ وَبِمَا أَنفَقُواْ مِنْ أَمْوَالِهِمْ فَالصَّالِحَاتُ قَانِتَاتٌ حَافِظَاتٌ لِّلْغَيْبِ بِمَا حَفِظَ اللّهُ وَاللاَّتِي تَخَافُونَ نُشُوزَهُنَّ فَعِظُوهُنَّ وَاهْجُرُوهُنَّ فِي الْمَضَاجِعِ وَاضْرِبُوهُنَّ فَإِنْ أَطَعْنَكُمْ فَلاَ تَبْغُواْ عَلَيْهِنَّ سَبِيلاً إِنَّ اللّهَ كَانَ عَلِيًّا كَبِيرًا
Doesn’t God Himself order Men to “beat” Women if they go astray?
Nadine
March 26, 2009 @ 6:57 pm
@Rami – that’s not the point – last year’s count was in the 20s I think, but it’s not about how many at all – at the end, as a statistic it can be ignored, coz there are larger numbers dying in traffic accidents, etc.
The point is that Jordan makes huge progressive claims, yet we ‘allow’ criminal behavior against women and the criminals get off easy hiding behind this ‘permission’.
We are all part of the crime if we continue to let this happen. Or…. let’s stop our pretentious attempts, shut our doors and behave savagely.
Let’s choose: What kind of a Jordan do you want to be part of?
A CRIME IS A CRIME – THERE’S NO HONOR IN THAT!
La Sharaf Bil Jareemeh « my treasure
July 18, 2009 @ 1:59 pm
[...] Sharaf Bil Jareemeh By kinziblogs It all started on Roba’s blog in the comment section. Let me again quote Nermeen Murad: Every single member of the Cabinet and [...]
Jocelyn
November 10, 2009 @ 3:46 am
Thank you for sharing this article. The implications of daily living in this kind of environment reach far beyond the simple (and effective) words of the article. I was touched. Do I live in a country where fathers beat, molest, or kill their own daughters? Yes. But it is always considered a crime, and punishable as wrong. The world (mine, yours and places far from either of us) has a long way to go before it is the place we wish it to be.